Are you on a fertility schedule? Has creating that bundle of joy turned into a high-pressured lab experiment?
I remember those days. It was stressful enough just having to go through the process… but add scheduling romance and sensual pleasure into the equation… ?
My calendar would never be in alignment with stopping everything to have sex at 3pm… or 10am.. or whenever that magic wand told me was the peak time for all the cells to line up properly.
After a few times of the lab experiment approach to joining the egg with the sperm, I said ‘enough!’ There had to be a better way to create our precious treasure. Call me an old fashion romantic, but I wanted these moments to be special… and yes, darn it, I wanted an orgasm.
Yet there I’d be… in the middle of a meeting… or facing a strict deadline… and yooo hooo! Stop everything… time to have sex.
Gals are aroused by how we feel… and I can assure you… stopping abruptly to have sex did not turn me on. My darling husband was typical of most men… always ready to ‘rise’ to the occasion (hello Victoria Secret catalog?). I, on the other hand, was stuck in my head and had no desire to get into bed!
Enough was enough… something had to change. How could we make this a more fulfilling experience? I’d always enjoyed a delicious romance novel… I loved the love… and yummy sex scenes… but I didn’t have time to read 200 pages to get stimulated.
So I sent DH down to the local “Good Vibrations” shop with these instructions: ‘Honey, please find me something to read that looks and feels like a romance novel, but moves a lot faster… like within 35 pages? And no, not Penthouse Letters…” (shudder… who writes those awful notes anyway?).
DH returned with the most amazing, hot, sexy, honoring/cherishing/loving erotica written by women for women… and thus began my love affair with romantic erotic stories. From then on, our fertility dance was sensually fulfilling.
We lit the candles, played romantic music, took a hot shower together, I changed into my favorite lingerie… read my new stories… and Voila! What meetings? What deadlines? I was in the moment, tuned in and turned on… and creating our bundle of joy became a fun, loving, sexy time for both of us.
In fact, it took the pressure off what we were trying to do… and made it something we looked forward to… a relaxing, special intimate moment.
I hope this has been helpful to all the courageous gals who are navigating the emotional waters of fertility. Please know my heart and thoughts are with you.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms… and future Moms… thank you for sharing your love with the world!
PS: Here’s a Mother’s Day video filled with ideas and suggestions for your ‘sensual pleasure’ gift list.