After a day of being mauled by your kids, are you finding yourself left with little desire for ANY physical contact, especially with your darling?
I loved hugging and cuddling my precious treasures… but some days it was too much! One kid would be super glued in my lap and the other one hanging from every available limb! Even the dog was in on some kind of conspiracy, hovering around my ankles, licking me, jumping up…
Then hubby walks through the door … so happy to see his family … grabs me for a smooch… and I’d scream… ‘don’t touch me!’
Sound familiar?
These tips will quickly rescue you from sensory overload and bring back your love for delicious grownup touching!
For Toddler
Give your toddler their favorite snuggly, explain how it really needs a snuggle and cuddle like Mommy gives them.
Play the ‘gentle touch’ game, where the toddler uses just their index finger to connect.
Make a date for an extended hug with your babies… later in the day.
The best tool in every Mom’s toolbox: redirect, redirect, redirect!
For Mom
Give yourself permission to Priceline a hotel and leave the kids with your partner or trusted friend. Even a few hours alone in the hotel room with a bucket of ice cream and pay-per-view will do your mind and body wonders!
Make a quick exit each and every time relief shows up at your door. My husband and I spent a couple of years taking turns being “on” while the other parent recovered.
For Couples
To help reconnect as a couple, make regular intimacy dates, sometimes for emotional connection, other times for sensual or sexual connection. They don’t need to be extravagant—simply sharing a glass of wine after the kids are in bed works wonders. Tip: Keep any issues of conflict on the shelf… this is intimacy time.
Remember to empathize with each other and try to meet each other’s needs. Sometimes that leads to some creative bartering, such as “Let me take a nap, darling, and later you’ll be glad I did.”
Ellen Kreidman, PhD, a marriage counselor and author of How Can We Light a Fire When the Kids Are Driving Us Crazy? says:
“The happiest, most well-adjusted children come from a home where Mommy and Daddy truly love each other. And that affection doesn’t just sustain itself — you need to stoke the fires every so often to keep it going.”
The next time your toddlers have you ‘too touched out,’ try these tips… and bring back the love of your darling’s touch.
For more tips, tools and resources for keeping the love, intimacy and passion alive in your relationship, visit BringBackDesire.com – everything a gal needs to get out of her head and back into bed.
Hi Ande, another great post. I’m way past that stage in my life but clearly remember the havoc, the panic and the helpless feeling that my love life was over. It wasn’t. But you are absolutely right that a plan must be set in action in order to get where you and your partner want and need to be. Many new moms think that “private time” will come naturally. It doesn’t. You always have such sound and great advice. I’m thinking you should be on the radio. Thanks for sharing. You are a plethora of good info.
Thanks Tammy! I’m adding PSYCHIC to your long list of delicious attributes! Why? Because I recorded my FIRST ‘virgin voyage’ radio show episode TODAY… http://a2zen.fm/profile/AndeLyons … After Dark will air Wednesdays at 11pm ET… easy to download or listen directly. Someday I’ll go LIVE… after I get the hang of talking and working a radio switchboard and listening to a producer and engaging a guest all at the same time… did I mention I’m post-menopausal? My brain only synapses at a certain speed these days…LOL! You’ll love my first guest… from your neck of the woods… Mimi Donaldson… laugh out loud anecdotes re: gender communication. SO FUNNY! Thanks again for stopping by… MUAH dear friend!