“Passion is like happiness… it needs to be cultivated.” ~ Dr. Marianne Brandon

Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author of Monogamy: The Untold Story and co-author of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido, where she dives into the complex challenges of low libido in women.

Dr. Brandon regularly writes for professional and lay publications and is frequently quoted in Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Prevention, and Self magazines. She has an active and informative Facebook page (you would not believe the questions she posts… and the responses!), and you can find her sharing the love on Twitter: @DrBrandon.

While most couples rate a passionate marriage as a priority for lasting happiness, it is alarmingly elusive for the majority of marriages.  The statistics on divorce, affairs, sexless marriage, and sexual dysfunction highlight our intimacy crisis. Dr. Brandon brings answers and solutions for couples everywhere.

Listen to my After Dark Radio Show Podcast interview… or watch my video interview of Dr. Brandon… you may find just the answers you’ve been looking for to your questions or concerns about low libido and sexual desire!

What I love BEST about Dr. Brandon is her deep desire to help couples heal and embrace their sexuality… for a deeply connected, loving and lasting relationship.

Dr. Brandon is in private practice serving individuals and couples in Annapolis, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, and the surrounding areas.  You can learn more about her services at www.wellminds.com.

A Measured Risk

Emotionally scarred in the horrific accident that took her husband’s life, Lady Cranfield is imprisoned by her lingering terror of horses and carriages. She longed to be closer to the fascinating Earl of Ruel… she sensed intuitively that he could teach her how to overcome the terrors that held her in bondage.

And now she’s willing to risk almost anything – her reputation, even her virtue – to find out why she’s drawn to him. But what he proposes startles her.

When the shy, studious and socially awkward young widow approached him, Ruel instantly sensed she would be the sweetest, most submissive experience of a lifetime – if only he can gain her total and complete trust. He makes her a non-negotiable offer. His help in return for her submission and obedience.

But Lady Cranfield grew up neglected by her ducal parents, raised by servants and then later ignored by her handsome, charming husband. She’s learnt to protect her heart at all costs and she trusts no one but herself.

How can the jaded Earl of Ruel break through her self-protective defenses and show her how to love when he has spent his lifetime avoiding that tender trap?

A Measured Risk is a sensual romance with an emotionally intense, character driven plot that features frequent explicit sex, BDSM, and graphic sexual language. Please click on the Buy Now button or image to purchase a copy via Amazon.

Thanks and credits go to YouTube User MladenK1976.

Guest Post by August McLaughlin

Watching a partner undress is one of the sexiest turn-ons for many couples. For the countless women with low body image, sadly, the “birthday suit” can feel more like “oh, crap!” attire. The result? Anxiety, stress and reduced sex drive. To further complicate this catch-22, sexual activity and intimacy can enhance body image, self-esteem and emotional health. In other words, the very thing that causes many women personal strife can help prevent and potentially cure the flareup triggers. Turning this snowball (pun embraced!) in the right direction is well worth it.

Signs Your Body Image and Sexual Confidence Could Use Boosting

• You’re uncomfortable undressing before your partner.
• You demand “lights off,” or to be covered by blankets, during sex.
• You contemplate your body’s “imperfections” during sex.
• You frequently compare your physique and appearance with those of other women.
• Swimsuits and lingerie—shopping and wearing—tank your moods.
• You wear oversized clothing and avoid skimpy threads.
• You often weigh yourself, diet or experience food-related guilt.
• You have difficulty believing or accepting compliments on your appearance.
• You’d go a year without sex, if it meant you could be thinner (or otherwise physically altered).
• You spend more time and energy worrying about your physical “flaws” and attractiveness than you do desiring, fantasizing about or initiating sex.

If you’ve been following my Girl Boner series or caught last week’s post on “female viagra,” you know I attribute most problems with female sexual desire with poor body image and self-esteem. Fueled by media’s representation of women and sexuality, the $40+ billion dieting industry and other factors, such as our personal role models and upbringing, body image pitfalls can seem impossible to overcome. How can we feel sexy naked when the whole darn world seems to tell us we’re anything but?

Maintaining positive body image in, and outside of, the bedroom is not only doable, but vital, in my opinion. Comfort in our own skin is associated with increased physical attractiveness and sex appeal, heightened sexual satisfaction and frequency and relationship contentment. And it doesn’t take raising our self-perception to arrogant heights. When we develop sexual self-confidence, we don’t make like Narcissa, gazing admiringly into mirrors. We care less about what others think about our bodies, ponder our physical appearance less, and invest more time and energy into worthier pursuits: living and loving, to name the biggies.

The following steps can help us feel more confident naked while we work on the deeper issues in our lives (which tend to take time). If your body image and sex-drive are severely low or simply seem unmanageable, I hope you’ll consider professional help. There’s no shame, and plentiful empowerment, in that kind of work and healing.

10 Ways to Feel Sexier Naked

1. Spend more time naked. If we’re only naked during sex, we’re more likely to feel uncomfortable. Sleep naked. Spend more time clothesless before or after showering. If you have the privacy, heck, clean the house naked.

2. Dim the lights. Dim lights are romantic. They also tend to be flattering. Cosmo photographers, Chris Clinton and Alexa Miller, suggest sex by candlelight, which softens our features, adding a sense of mystique.

3. Exercise. Exercising, preferably in a way we find enjoyable, staves off depressive moods and stress while helping us feel fitter physically. We shouldn’t exercise to slenderize, in my view, but to feel capable, healthy and strong.

4. Masturbate. I know, I recommend this for just about everything. If the habit fits… Seriously, self-stimulation increases sexual confidence, which helps us grow more comfortable with our bodies and sexuality.

5. Trash magazines and images that make you feel bad. Even swimsuit models wish they looked precisely like their heavily airbrushed photos nowadays. Artwork of women of all shapes, ages and sizes often present, encourage and celebrate real beauty. The same holds true for publications that empower us, rather than instruct us to diet or cleanse our way to “fit.”

6. Turn on the tunes. As I discussed back in March, music turns us on—40 percent more than touch, according to a Spotify study. Choose music you find alluring, or work together with your partner.

7. Emphasize your favorite features. A poll conducted by Gfk/MRI showed that women feel sexiest when they doll their faces up before a night out. The confidence boost can carry us through the night, prepping us for steamy bedroom fun later.

8. Stand at a 3/4 angle. According to Clinton and Miller, facing a partner straight on can make us look a bit square, while angling slightly accentuates our sexy curves.

9. Wear heels. No, they aren’t the healthiest shoes on the planet, but they sure can help! (If you feel sexier in flip-flops or other flats, though, by all means, wear them!) Taller shoes engage leg muscles in a complimentary way, and raise confidence. This is why models often wear heels during photo shoots, whether their feet show or not. I just think it feels sexy—being naked, except for heels.

10. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, just the way you are. We might feel a little cheesy-motivational-speaker-y, but you know what? Affirmations work. Negative self-talk does the opposite, so do your best to swap self-bashing for self-love. Then report back, so we can celebrate your Girl Boner journey.

Are you comfortable naked? What has helped or hurt body image-wise? Which tip strikes you most? I love hearing from you!

August McLaughlin is a Los Angeles-based writer and journalist with articles featured regularly by LIVESTRONG.com, DAME Magazine, The Nest Woman and more. Before completing her first novel, IN HER SHADOW, she worked in the fashion, film and wellness industries, wearing hats ranging from Parisian runway model to culinary coach. She’s the executive producer of Weight Limit, a series of body image-related PSAs, and speaks publicly on eating disorders, her personal battle with anorexia, and cultural influences on female sexuality and self-esteem. August is represented by Dystel & Goderich Literary Management and loves connecting with readers via her blog, Facebook and Twitter.

Aaron Anderson, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado. He is a relationship specialist who works with couples and families to create the relationships they’ve always wanted. You’ll love his popular blog: Relationship Rx!

As a therapist, writer, blogger and speaker, Aaron always gives expert information and advice you can use without the psychobabble. Whether it’s regaining and restoring trust in your marriage, learning to fight fairly, coping with divorce and affairs, learning to forgive and accept, handling anger respectfully, or creating new bonds you’ve never had with your spouse… Aaron can help you have the relationship of your dreams. Follow Aaron on Facebook, Twitter and Google+!

My second guest is national bestselling author/motivational speaker/life coach Georgia Woodbine! She is widely known as a dynamic and entertaining speaker and trainer, who has helped to motivate and inspire thousands of people around the world by showing them how to creatively tap into their inner strengths, access their power and manifest their destiny.

Georgia shares the best advice from her new book: How To Attract The Right Man into Your Life: No More Settling, tips, advice and secrets every women should know. Not only does this book offer you a refreshing approach on love, relationships and attracting the ideal mate, it can also be used as a blueprint for every component of your life, including your love life, career, finances and health.

Georgia shows how you have the power to consciously create your own reality and experience a loving, meaningful and mature relationship with the right man. Be sure to follow Georgia via Facebook and Twitter!

Thank you for joining me for this lively, entertaining and arousing conversation on After Dark Radio Show

My first guest is International Transition Coach and Transformation Goddess, Shann Vander Leek. Shann is a recovering workaholic and Type A perfectionist and an established expert in the field of personal transformation. She is committed to helping women find their voice, heal their hearts, and empower their inner Goddess.

Shann has many sacred offerings that will help you transition into all you are meant to be, including Empower the Goddess Within, Goddess Coaching Circle and Sacred Heart Teachings.

Shann is offering a special $25 off coupon for her Sacred Heart Teachings for all After Dark Radio Show listeners. All you have to do is enter the coupon code: after dark (two words – all lower case) to take advantage of this special offer. YAY!

Shann loves connecting with folks via Twitter, so please send her a howdy tweet.

My second guest is Allie Theiss, a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Energologist, relationship expert, and a 6th generation intuitive. Allie’s advice style integrates the body with the mind, soul and emotions. Think of it as practical advice with a metaphysical twist!

Allie’s Out of Body Ecstasy Sex helps couples and singles experience a whole new level of orgasmic bliss. You can listen to Allie every Thursday evening on her popularBlog Talk Radio Show, and be sure to follow Allie on Facebook and Twitter!

Thank you for joining me for this lively, entertaining and arousing conversation on After Dark Radio Show!

Guest Post by Tammy Bleck

It depends on who you ask.

To my ex-husband who hooked up with a little Russian chick half his age and yells to the hilltops that he is not too old; you can sit down now, we hear you.

But, for the rest of us who still have our sanity and are considered by many to be over the hill (man, I hate that expression), sex generally plays a less important role in our lives.

Or does it?

I recently had an informative (drunken) and frank (loud and boisterous) discussion with my peers (girlfriends) about this very subject. In our in-depth (raunchy and crude) dialogue, we all came to the same conclusion: sex is alive and well in our relationships.

It is however not without its challenges, complaints and restraints (pun intended).

Since most of us aren’t particularly feisty about our naked bodies anymore, prancing around the house wearing a thong, heels and a hairband is pretty much off the table. Instead we camouflage our bodies, accentuating the good (cleavage) and hiding the bad (everything else). We depend heavily on candlelight, black out curtains and sturdy mattresses.

These days sex is more than an orgasm, it’s an adventure. It’s also a lot noisier than it used to be. The grunting, moaning and heavy breathing begins way before we do. It’s all par for the course.

I find that in this stage of my life, intimacy holds a great deal of importance. I’ve also learned that intimacy is not always the same as having sex. I appreciate the closeness, the holding, kissing and I keep my expectations to a reasonable level.

But, being a girl, I want what I want. Good thing for me, we are both good communicators and great listeners. Together we have learned what works, what doesn’t, and how to talk with each other about both.

I have to confess, sex is a little less important to me than it used to be. At this stage of my life I’m more centered on the bigger picture, the overall need to satisfy my partner and myself in all areas of our lives. Conversation entertainment, friendship, travel, our kids and the events of the day.

Unlike our younger years, our libidos can be affected by our stress, weight gain, medical conditions and the meds we take for them. Okay, fine. So sex may not be as sweaty or frequent as it once was years ago. That’s okay, because sweat is highly over-rated and the years have taught me that frequency is trumped by quality, hands down!

That’s NOT to say that sex is on the back burner. Oh, hell no. Fact is, the opposite is true. We are actually more adventurous. The kitchen table is not just for meals and the car is not just for running errands. Now that I have totally grossed out my fully grown daughter, let me say out loud … bravo for us!

Being cheeky (do the puns never end?) is something I’m far more comfortable with now than I ever was in my 20’s and 30’s. As I approach my 60th birthday this summer, I realize that while 60 is not really the new 40, it is a far cry from what it was in my grandmother’s generation!

I remember reading a quote somewhere many years ago that cautioned women to choose their mates carefully. It claimed that passion would wane but the ability to maintain good conversation, share loyalty and enjoy someone’s company would last a lifetime. I scoffed at the notion. Silly me.

We’ve also heard it said many times that waiting for something will often make you appreciate it more.

Of course, I do have a 2 week limit on the whole “waiting” part. After all, without some sense of reasonable decorum, the world could easily plunge into mayhem and anarchy.

Trust me when I tell you, the last thing this world needs is a sex deprived menopausal woman. Do I here an “Amen”?

Tammy Bleck

Tammy Bleck is a proficient columnist, ghostwriter, blogger, and author of the award winning book, Single Past 50 Now What? and the award winning blog, Witty Woman Writing. A distinguished speaker, Tammy is an expert on how to monetize the written word via social media, blogs and networking venues. In her commentary work she is known for her humor and has often been compared to Erma Bombeck and dubbed the female Andy Rooney.

A notable writer for hire, Tammy is a trusted and proven ghostwriter. Best known for her celebrity profiles, commentary pieces, award winning blog, self-help columns, writing critiques, and authority pieces, Tammy is highly regarded for her coaching work with aspiring writers and bloggers.

Her writing has been published in countless magazines and newspapers such as the Huffington Post, Los Angeles Daily News, The Denver Post, The Rocky Mountain News, The Portland Post, The Jewish Writing Project and the Jewish Journal to name just a few. Well known for her eagerness to help up and coming writers, ghostwriters, authors and speakers, she is available for hire on an hourly basis.

Tammy is a recipient of the Certificate of Commendation from the Mayor of Los Angeles for her work in educating the public and has toured, spoken, taught, counseled and conducted many a workshop over the past 30 years. She is a native Californian and currently resides in Westlake Village.

You can contact Tammy at Tammy@WittyWomanWrting.com and enjoy her weekly blog at www.WittyWomanWriting.com/blog/

La Petite Mort 

Sophia, a gorgeous cosmetics executive and former supermodel, may appear to live a charmed life but now she’s seeing it for what it was: She’d never married, never had children, and above all, had never fallen in love. The time has come for Sophia to live, to do the things she’s always wanted—including fulfilling a no-holds-barred sexual fantasy that has occupied her lonely nights.

Sophia wants to be worshiped in bed by two men devoted to every sensuous curve of her wanting body. Her boss Ford is only too happy to oblige—a man who has always wanted to please Sophia in any way she wanted. And he has a handsome and willing friend to join them. Together they’re making Sophia’s fantasy a reality. But are they up to giving Sophia everything she’s been denied?

Click the Buy Now! button to start reading La Petite Mort tonight!

Single Past 50… Now What? 

Tammy Bleck found herself single after 25 years of marriage; in her fifties, her daughter off to college, broke and unemployed, and the cat and the dog to feed. Not exactly her life’s plan.

Click here to purchase a copy of Single Past 50…Now What? Below is a review of Tammy’s survival guide… in her own witty woman words… enjoy!

When happily ever after means a party of one, the average single mid-life woman generally struggles to find her way.

What she doesn’t know is that singles past 50 are less depressed, travel more, have better bodies, achieve more in life, are smarter, experience stronger friendships, have better social lives, get more sleep, do less housework and have better sex lives than their married counterparts. So why are so many unhappy? Great question; the answers lie in the book Single Past 50 Now What?

I’m here to help and I take no prisoners as I assuredly point out that being single at a mature age, while it’s no cake walk, could very well be the best thing to ever happen to you.

Humor, gut-wrenching honesty and surprising facts guide you to the realization that, just maybe, life is about to get a lot better.

I’ve lived it.

I found myself single after 25 years of marriage in my fifties, my daughter off to college, broke and unemployed, and the cat and the dog to feed. Not exactly my life’s plan.

Having experienced bankruptcy, foreclosure, unemployment, eviction, and standing in the food stamp line, I have a very clear understanding of the perils that can plague and change our lives.

I have owned 4 very successful businesses (and one not so much) and have had four distinct careers. Life is a fickle beast but it all has a way of working out.

As the author of Single Past 50…Now What?, I offer a unique (and sometimes irreverent) guide how to survive and live happily single at 50 years young and beyond. Humor, boldness and surprising facts are yours for the finding in this very personal survival guide for the mature woman.

So, here’s the deal; when you finish this book, chances are pretty good you will feel as if a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You will find direction and begin the process of claiming your future happiness with determination and fortitude.

I penned this book with a resolve to help; a must read for every mother, sister, aunt or daughter who find themselves standing at the gate of mid-life, single. Best we get on with the business of living.

Click here to purchase your copy of Single Past 50… Now What?

Mystic Pete is an author, radio host, cellist, music and video producer, spiritual teacher, aphorist, (yeah, I had to look that one up too!) and father of two. He has taught and organized events internationally… where he’s brilliant at connecting spirituality and the arts using music, dance, storytelling, and writing.

He hosts a really popular radio show, “In A Dream,”  on KXLU, 88.9 fm, Los Angeles, Saturday nights at midnight.

Mystic Pete’s new book Mystic Pete Chronicles – Book 1: Sex & Mysticism is a humorous introduction to mysticism, with a focus on sex! It’s filled with energy, enthusiasm, knowledge, humor and compassion.

Mystic Pete is regularly featured on Elephant Journal via his column: “Mystic Pete Says…,” and his funny and edgy music videos can be seen at his YouTube channel. Is this a multi-talented man or what?!

What I love best about Mystic Pete is how he uses humor to help folks create a deeper connection with life and love. Please feel free to reach out to Mystic Pete via his website or his highly engaged Facebook page or via Twitter!

Tina McDonald is a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and Certified Hypnotherapist. She is a graduate of the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine, and has studied acupuncture in China at Nanjing hospital through the World Health Organization.

In 1999, with the encouragement and support of family and friends, Tina opened Willow Street Naturopathic Center in Waterloo, Ontario. Through her practice Tina has been serving her community as a Naturopath for 14 years.

Tina’s quest for knowledge has taken her to such places as Brazil and Fiji. She is certified in Emotional Freedom Technique, Psych-k and Clinical Hypnosis, and tonight we’ll be learning all about her company, b3 Remedies, and these outstanding products that help you get calm, get rest, and get aroused.

Thank you for joining me for this lively, entertaining and arousing conversation on After Dark Radio Show!