With the rising popularity of erotic romances, a growing desire to explore in the bedroom has also been created. Here’s where the stumbling block seems to fall. While the creation of eReaders has significantly diminished the stigma tied to “bodice rippers,” the same can’t be said for “adult bookstores” or “sex shops.” Although there are more and more exceptions being made to this rule, we as women have been raised to think that speaking about certain aspects of sex is unladylike or taboo.
Even knowing that I’m nearly 40 and have a home of my own, there’s this insidious thought in my head about driving to my local sex shop. “What if’s” fill my brain. What if someone from church were to see my car in front of this store? What if someone recognizes me? Then there’s the imagination to contend with. What am I going to see when I walk through the door? Is it going to be seedy? Will there be some leering, dirty fat guy working the front desk who now thinks I’m a desperate pervert? What if some creep hits on me thinking I’m easy? So many women, no matter how progressive they may feel intellectually, won’t walk through the front doors of a grown up toy store. Can you blame them?
Truthfully, I’ve been inside several sex shops. Sometimes the experience can be exactly like what I described above. Other times, there’s more of a boutique environment. It’s a crap shoot as to what you get.
So if you’re not willing to subject yourself to that kind of misadventure potential, what other options do you have? Bring Back Desire offers a lovely selection of recommended grown up products in its Love Boutique. It’s a fun, adventurous, discrete way to find items that intrigue you for bedroom play.
Of course, some people still worry about nosy neighbors, winding up on mailing lists for catalogs, or parental discovery. (Yes, there are people over 18 who still live with their folks, and it could prove awkward if mom opened a package meant for you.)
Pleasure parties are another fun way to shop, but may not be for those ladies who are “in the closet” about what areas they’d like to explore as it’s usually a bunch of girlfriends hanging out, having fun and being shown all the items available for sale. Although the purchases are made privately in a separate room, I have yet to go to a party where everyone didn’t want to know what everyone else bought. (I think that may be a part of our natural female instinct.)
If none of the above options work for you, does that mean you need to just suffer in silence with unanswered curiosity? Absolutely not! I don’t think it’s fair that you suffer simply because you’re a bit skittish. In fact, much time was spent brainstorming on my part to try to find viable solutions. Then it dawned on me.
Common household items that can double as adult toys. Of course. Things that wouldn’t raise eyebrows at your local stores. Objects that could be found at Walmart and Target. With a little creativity, I realized there were plenty of different possibilities.
We’ll start with a few simple items that won’t surprise anyone. First and foremost, the kitchen! Although many of us have seen or heard stories referring to repurposing cucumbers, carrots, etc. this is not what I had in mind. Keep those things in the salad bowl. I’d rather play with things like whipped cream or hot fudge or ice! To be fair this is more of a couple’s category, though ice cubes can certainly be used solo.
Whipped cream is great for creating fun designs on your own body for a partner to lick up or for you and your partner to decorate each other. A little tip…when talking whipped cream, don’t go for cool whip. To me there’s nothing sexy about ladling out a spoonful of that stuff, then plopping it on the body. What you want is something that allows you and/or your partner to get decorative and playful!
Hot fudge is great to drizzle along a partner’s body, then lick it up. If you’ve never tried it, you’re truly missing out…and it’s fantastic for the chocoholics out there. This can be a bit messy, so you may want to do some early prep work for this one if you take it to the bedroom. Of course, even better would be to get adventurous and make the kitchen your personal playground.
Another favorite of mine are those little bite sized ice cream treats. There’s usually a chocolate coating that draws really nicely on hot flesh, followed by the cool of the ice cream once the chocolate has melted off. It can be fun to trace a word along your partner’s back with the chocolate, then watch them quake as the ice cream hits their flesh…right before you lick it up. It’s even more fun to see if they’re able to concentrate while you torture them with pleasure. Try to make them guess what you spelled on their back.
Ice cubes are also great fun, especially for use on women. Let’s be real. When we get hot…we get hot everywhere! Sensation play is fun for a reason. Let your body be cooled down just a smidge with an ice cube. It’s just water, after all. Inserting that into the vajayjay while you’re steaming hot? ::shudders:: Yeah, the hot and cool make for very powerful sensations.
While we’re on body play, it would be wrong not to mention the benefits of Altoids, menthol flavored cough drops or toothpaste. Here’s the deal. There are some guys who can tell you from experience, receiving a blowjob while a woman has a mentholated cough drop or Altoid in her mouth creates this awesome hot and cold sensation.
For some reason, no one ever considers that the same goes for us! When a guy sucks on one of those bad boys while giving oral sex, the minty mingles with the hot to explosive results. Toothpaste can be tricky. A little minty toothpaste can also work for a man, but too much can make him feel like his penis is on fire. Whatever you do, don’t put this on the head. You don’t want that slipping into the urethra. Yikes!
For those of you who are dying for a little self-exploration? No dildo but curious to try? Here’s an option for you. Go into the hair care section of your local grocery/superstore. Find a round handled hairbrush. First, I should probably clarify. You will be using the handle part of the brush, not the bristled part, so there are several factors to take into consideration as you select the right product for you. Will it be comfortable? This is why the rounded handles tend to better suit these needs. Also, how sanitary can you keep this item? This is why my personal tastes shy away from the ones with those squishy silicone sides or rubberized grips. I also tend to shy away from wood because things like splinters pop into my head. If you choose to use this, remember, it’s important to select something where the bristles at the top of the brush aren’t uncomfortable in your hand. After each use, always remember to wash it with soap and water.
While we’re on the subject of brushes, there’s another kind of brush that you may want to consider. This would be more for partner play, though you can certainly use it on yourself if you’re curious. This brush would be for erotic spankings. Honestly, before you go for the brush I recommend first trying it at your partner’s hand. See how it works for you. If you enjoy it and want to try something more, a brush with a nice, flat surface on the back that makes for a decent paddle.
Of course, going back into the kitchen and using a wooden spoon is also an option. Please note, I did say wooden. Do not use the hard plastic or metal ones unless you know what you’re doing. Those things can be more painful than you think and there isn’t much give to them. The short handle on a brush makes for better control and shorter swings, limiting the chance of hurting your partner. (Yes, some people even graduate to leather belts, but it’s not for everyone.)
For those of you curious about nipple clamps, a potential alternative are wooden clothes pins. Whatever you do, don’t try the plastic ones until you have an idea of where your pleasure/pain balance or threshold is. There is absolutely no give to a plastic one. Wooden ones, however, are more forgiving. Make sure your nipples are good and hard before you decide to pinch them between these devices. Also, it helps blend the pain and pleasure the first time if you’re also being stimulated elsewhere. My personal recommendation is simultaneous stimulation to the clitoral area, which leads quite nicely into my next toy.
Curious about clitoral stimulators? Yes, they have little finger ones that you can buy in the condom aisle at your local grocery or drugstore these days, but if you’re shy even talking about personal toys, chances are you’re not ready to announce to your local grocery store that you masturbate (regardless of the fact that it’s perfectly normal).
Electronic personal massagers with flat or rounded heads are an alternate option. Even Walmart and Target carries some variation of this bad boy with interchangeable heads. Some will plug into the wall, others require batteries. You decide what you prefer. They’re usually in the price range of $20-$50. Again, remember the importance of cleaning when you’re done. (By the way, there are all sorts of use for KY Jelly, so hopefully you don’t feel shy about getting lubricant. If so, send your partner.)
Here’s another fun little idea. Everyone has a cell phone, right? These days they all come with the vibrate feature. If you want to tease each other while out for a nice dinner in the evening or some other event, there are ways. Put your phone on vibrate. When you sit down, hold your phone between your legs (if you’re daring and wearing a skirt, you can slide it under there). Your partner can choose to torture you through your meal or movie simply by calling you over and over, or when the mood strikes. Important side fact, it’s best to have a case on your phone to prevent any liquid damage to the device or requirements for insurance claims.
For those of you wanting to play with some light bondage? Here’s my tip…use scarves (no, we’re not talking the winter scarf variety, more the decorative types) as a blind fold. Other common household items commonly used for light bondage? Pantyhose. What can I say, ladies…if you’ve got a run in one, you might as well repurpose them! Use them to tie your partner up…or let them tie you up. Another common option is ties. I find them sexy around a man’s neck so it stands to reason I’d find it equally sexy around his wrists…or mine if the mood takes me there.
Here are a few warnings to consider with bondage, though. First, talk together and come up with a “safe word” (by the way, this also applies to spankings). This will allow you to know when it’s not fun anymore and to stop. Also, if you are someone who struggles, don’t use silk or nylon items…they get tighter the more you struggle. This can do very bad things for your circulation and make them more difficult to remove. Having said that, have scissors or a knife handy in case this does happen so you can quickly cut them off. More importantly, pay attention to your partner’s body language so it doesn’t get to that point.
As you can tell, I take my fun seriously. Sexual fun and exploration with your partner is hugely important to the maintenance of any relationship. Communication is key. If you’re wanting to experiment, you don’t have to look very far to find new and exciting ways to spice up your lifestyle. You just have to open your eyes and look around!
I’m sure there are a few household appliances that I forgot to mention. Were there any items on my list that surprised you? Have you tried any of these tricks? How did it go? If you have something to add, please do! If you have further questions, feel free to ask!
Kitt has always been an avid reader with a vivid imagination, cementing her role as family story teller and librarian. As a military brat, she told her stories to her younger siblings to keep them entertained while they traveled the world. Following her mother’s lead, she began writing poetry. With her love of all things steamy and romantic, it was only a matter of time before she began to write her own sexy stories. Download a copy of her newest erotic romance story, Three For All!
Kitt shares her life with her best friend who she’s also lucky enough to call her husband, and her two dogs. Despite living in Florida, she’s a Midwestern girl at heart. She’s passionate about music, coffee and chatting it up with people who share her passions.