Have you tried online dating? This 21stcentury matchmaker puts us in front of people we would have no other way of meeting. It also gives us anonymity, which allows us to state what we want and go after it. And the good news is we do not have to worry about the others wrath when we politely decline their advances!
However, in order to create a successful outcome with your online dating experience, you need to apply the following 6 tips:
1) You must recognize what your goal is pertaining to dating. Are you recently out of a relationship and looking for a casual thing while you heal? Do you want to have fun and go on many dates? If you want to be in a relationship, what does that relationship look like to you? Some people want to be monogamous but take things slowly, while others want a live-in partner and/or marriage within a year. Whatever you are is perfect; just define it for yourself. Write it down on paper and keep refining it until it is exactly where you are. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!
2) Next define what you need in a partner or lover/s or whatever, depending on step one. Write down everything that comes to mind. All of it, right down to the color their hair if it seems important to you. Now is not the time to worry about being superficial. Who cares, this is what YOU need. I call this the “Must Have” list because it is just that: What we MUST have to be happy; the things we cannot compromise on. This may change over time as you learn more about yourself and see characteristics in others that you hadn’t thought of before.
While making this list it is also important to be realistic. Consider what it would take for you to have a successful relationship and also what is within your reach.
3) It is also important to know what you CANNOT live with. You may find the mate of your dreams in the area of wants and desires but you are doomed if they have even one characteristic on your “Can’t Live With” list. This is typically short as you just described what you do need.
4) When writing your online profile, be honest. Write a profile that describes you accurately and states exactly what you want. We have a right to want what we want and state it.
Be sure to include characteristics you want in a date or partner (hence the “Must Have” list). There are men and women looking for all things. You will find many people on these sites who are looking for you. Rather than write what you think will attract many suitors, put what is so. You only need to attract the one, yes?
5) Truth in advertising. I am talking about the photos. It is beyond insane the number of people who post pictures of themselves from 20 years ago!!!
Please use current pictures that show you at your best and also portray you as you are. Post at least three current photos of yourself, with at least one of your entire body and one of a nice, clear photo of your face. Remember, there are men and women out there seeking all the different types of looks, personalities and income brackets, as there are people to fill them.
6) Only connect with people who are looking for YOU. Read their profiles; these are not picture books. Do not waste your time on someone who does not meet your requirement, no matter how delicious they look. And do not pursue someone whose requirements do not describe you.
It is a good idea to ask a friend to take a look at your profile and photo’s to see if you have described yourself well. Most of us do not always see ourselves as we truly are, so pick someone who will be honest with you.
Follow these tips and you will create the best online dating experience possible – Happy Hunting! (Psst… let me know what happens!!)
© 2012 Alice Badler, Much Ado About Dating
Alice Badler
Online Dating and Relationship Expert Alice Badler believes the primary challenge about love, dating and relationships is that we humans are all so different! What works in one situation does not make sense in another.
Her website, Much Ado About Dating, is dedicated to people who are looking for relationships or are in relationships. Her weekly columns, Go Ask Alice and Alice’s Rants, cover many topics from online dating to tools to improve an existing relationship to her own pet peeves in the area of dating and relationships. Although it wasn’t Alice’s intention to start a “Sex and the City” type column, some of her personal life does show up… how can it not?
Alice is the author of 100 Frogs an inspirational story based on her own six month journey into online dating. You can follow Alice via Twitter @AliceBadler.
PS: Interested in getting sex on the brain fast? Grab a free PDF copy of “Party Favors” – a sensual erotic short story about some rather adventurous couples… written by one of our favorite, sensational authors Amelia James.
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